There's something about HP Beholder stories. Whether they're het or slash, they somehow read to me almost as gen. It's much the same vibe as I get from Yuletide. (Well, yes, a great deal of Yuletide stories *are* gen.) I often wonder why a shippy person like me enjoys writing for such unusual, un-shippy exchanges like these. I think it's something about the lower decks nature of the stories. The outside POV. It seriously pings me.

Some Beholder goodies...

Apart (Draco Malfoy/Rita Skeeter, NC-17) This is Draco post-series, trying to sort out his muddled-up life and beliefs, and finding inspiration and the path to independence in the unexpected (and very sexy) form of Rita Skeeter.

The Migratory Habits of Seekers & Other Birds of Prey (Harry Potter/Viktor Krum, NC-17) Viktor post-series has made a career-ruining fuck-up and ends up working at Hogwarts, where Harry and his three kids are now living, and where they all end up healing. The first person POV doesn't quite do it for me, but the story on the whole is extremely satisfying, especially the sex (!)

Finding a Niche (Severus Snape/Minerva McGonagall, PG-13) Severus starts teaching at Hogwarts, where the teaching staff take an active and often annoying interest in his every move, and Minerva in particular finds herself just a tad fixated. The story's structure seems a bit unbalanced to me - long banter-filled scenes at the start switch to almost a drabble format towards the end - but I like the writing style, whatever mood it takes.

Frozen (Poppy Pomfrey/Severus Snape, PG-13) Poppy post-series watches over Severus' silent, almost lifeless form and remembers everything that has gone before. Minerva is also a strong, protective presence in the story for both Poppy and Severus.

There Are Days I Wish I Lived in a Romance Novel (But This Isn't One of Them) (Neville Longbottom/Millicent Bulstrode, PG-13) Post-series, a clumsy yet careful courtship springs up between these two, almost in spite of themselves. Their working environments are a central part of the story's appeal, as well as a convenient excuse for meeting.

Jigsaw Pieces (Severus Snape/Filius Flitwick, R) Flitwick post-series, trying to put together the pieces of his long relationship with Snape, now dead. It's an intriguingly fleshed-out depiction of Flitwick, and seeing both Snape and the events of the series from his angle is fascinating.

The Good One, The Mad One, The Bad One (Neville Longbottom/Madam Rosmerta, NC-17) Set during Neville's troubled final year at Hogwarts. Rosmerta's resisted a lot of teenaged temptation over the years, but this year's not like anything she's experienced before - and nor is Neville.

yuletide authors have been revealed, so I can say thank you to Kiera Kingsley, who wrote me the gorgeous Fireside (The Brothers Grimm historical RPF). I also found a wonderful New Year Resolution story for me by misura called Fifteen Moments (Whistle!, Shigeki/Tatsuya/Shou &hearts) - woot!

As for me, I tackled Georgette Heyer's The Foundling for luthien, who wanted some Gilly/Gideon slash - which I was very happy to provide! My only worry was how to write this pairing without setting off my infidelity squick; if it takes place pre-book, then Gilly will be eventually cheating on Gideon with Harriet, and if it takes place post-book, then he will be cheating on Harriet with Gideon, neither of which option sits comfortably with me. I really didn't want to break up Gilly and Harriet; quite aside from the fact that I love her dearly, just think of the ducal succession! (Yes, like Lord Lionel, I can't help but obsess over such practicalities.) So I, er, killed my dearest Harriet off. Probably in childbirth. Oh dear.

Anyhow, it was all good fun - especially playing with Heyer's Regency cant - and the result was Flapdragon'd (ha! after a brief foray into Housman, I am back to Shakespeare-inspired titles.) If you like your Heyer G-rated, then just read the first section; the sex doesn't happen until the second half. (No, I didn't manage to come up with an actual plot - I'm still worn out after snarry_holidays!)

Going into this assignment, I honestly thought I was going to write it straight, with no clumsy attempts at Heyer language. Then the cant just started bursting out of me regardless. Huh. I didn't think I was doing too badly, either, but I did read one particular yuletide story called Of All Our Yesterdays (Sunrise, Sunset) by freneticfloetry (set in JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood universe) which was an impressive demonstration of how to nail a crazyass distinctive writing style right into the mattress.

yuletide writer, I haven't a clue if my comment to you posted or not, so I am c/p'ing here just in case: Thank you so much! I love how you wove one of my longtime loves with another so deftly, and in a way that makes beautiful, thought-provoking sense. The cosy, casual sympathy amongst this group of story addicts makes the undercurrent of restless longing all the more delicious - like a writer stretching out of her stays! I love the image Wilhelm creates of the quilt man frozen in death with his maker, and the fascinated revulsion and empathy his tale inspires in his listeners, particularly the absorbed Jacob. The way you describe how these storytelling brothers communicate without a word is perfect. I hope you had a wonderful time dreaming this up!

For the rest of you, please visit Fireside, a lovely piece of Brothers Grimm what-iffery in which a well-known tale is stitched together.

If you like Harry/Snape and (like me!) LOVE mpreg, then check out the great gift I received for snarry_holidays: Mirror Image. Thank you, mysterious artist!

I'm *almost* caught up with Merlin (but still haven't watched the most recent episode). After Elton's How gay is Merlin? freaked me out for a moment with: (And for all you Gwen-bashers out there — you'll be happy to know she meets a bad end.) I was all ready to go WHAT NOOOO, but it turns out (from another freakee on merlinxarthur) that the remark was somehow Torchwood-related. There's such a heavy onslaught of fic that Merlin's presence on yuletide looks increasingly funny. I've barely read anything so far, sticking mainly with authors I trust like thehoyden (Damsel in Distress, Misrule, Past Imperfect), lynnmonster (The Chatter of Britain) and rageprufrock (August and Three Castles 1 and 2). I'm become so wary and weird about trying unfamiliar (to me) authors. It's no wonder I have such a struggle with fandom's current anonyfest culture. I'm just not very adventurous, and I like to know what I'm in for before I launch into something. I've hardly read *anything* from snarry_holidays, which is pretty lax of me considering I'm a participant. Posting seems to have finished now so I asume a reveal will be up soon, but I really need to slave on yuletide instead of attempting any sort of catch-up. I've reviewed the Yuletide source material, which has led to much reviewing of *related* material, which has led to...well, not a lot of work done at all, but many pleasant hours whiled away. At least I'm house-sitting soon, which will give me some interruption- (and guilt-) free time.

***

Given an emotional standing ovation at a ceremony in Eindhoven, Van den Hoogenband kept to his promise of ending his career on December 7.

"I competed for the last time in Beijing, but I didn't want to leave you all before saying goodbye and, above all, thank you," Van den Hoogenband said.

The arrival of the retired Thorpe at the ceremony was a major surprise.

Thorpe said he "didn't want to miss such an important moment in Pieter's life".

And better yet: ‘When I saw him, I thought ‘I am not going to cry.’

Oh, swimmy boys.

frivol sent me a link to this Today Show snippet in which the Doug Anthony All Stars actually share a couch without killing each other while they promote their new unlimited uncollectible sterling deluxe edition dvd.

Since frivol is sick of seeing my ear wax story every time she checks for an update, I'm updating again. The thing that freaks me out most about LJ's new userinfo is the way the time of one's last update is shown right at the top of the page for everyone to see and judge. Who needs more GUILT?

Lately I've been at war with elm leaf beetles, picking them by hand from our tree and feeding them to the toilet spiders. We've had a mama brown house spider set up shop behind the toilet door for over a year now; she produced an impressive egg sac a few weeks ago and was looking a bit gaunt as a result, but I'm plumping her up again on beetles. Any beetle that drops from her web goes to the wee daddy-long-legs living below her, but he's rather clumsy and has a bad habit of losing his food. I hope they're enjoying the beetles, because there seems to be an endless supply of the little buggers. I scrape away all the eggs I can find - before they can skeletonise the leaves - but there's always more.

Okay, fandom content: there's a few more hours to sign up for yuletide if you're feeling tempted. (Be warned, sign-up may *take* a few hours, depending how adventurous you're feeling.) I don't think frivol can be convinced, but it doesn't stop her squeeful updatery on the progress of Spooks (19 requests! 27 volunteers!). That's the raw pulling power of Richard Armitage.

Almost time for silence. The wild red poppies are swaying about in our sun-washed back garden, sending the bees into ecstasies.

Okay, I've posted my dutifully brainstormed fandom maybes to the yuletide post, but here they are too:

( yuletide maybes )

panisdead, I asked after A Companion to Wolves at Borders today, and they couldn't even find it on their computer!

It's been a year and three days since fandom nominations for the 2007 yuletide opened.

*waits hopefully*

*tinkers meanwhile with stupidly long list in Notepad*

Apparently I haven't updated in 18 weeks.

I CAN EXPLAIN.

...

Okay, I got nothing. Except deep and abiding thank yous to culprits such as _audrey, angstslashhope, cista, claudia603, eyebrowofdoom, frivol and sharpest_rose for all their happy birthday wishes and cards and loot!

In other awesome news, a star by the name of ghostangel has been inspired to draw a glorious piece of Grindelwald/Dumbledore fanart (NOT safe for work!) based on my Smutmas fic Suppliance of a Minute. GO LOOK. THERE BE TENDRIL PORN.

I've recently returned from my first non-fandom-related holiday in ten years. I hardly knew what to do with myself and now I...hardly know what to do with myself. This befuddlement has led to restless wanderings around that new archive what is not open for business yet and compulsive peeking at its coding issues. Because I am just that weird. Akismet spam-catching mechanism? WHAT. Tag wrangling interface has too much power?? NOOOO. Set up Tarantula testing??? AHHHHHHH. It reminds me of this appalling Lance Henriksen movie that uthiel and I subjected ourselves to whilst bored on holiday, in which Lance and his Elephant Man brother (?) set up an arachno-incest-tryst cum organ-harvest-nonsense-cult somewhere in the cobwebby wilds of SexistRacistland. Okay, not really, but that archive what is not open for business yet should totally have some In the Spider's Web slash regardless and I am just the person to write it never ever watching that dvd again.

I got a little caught up on HP Beholder today. This is a Fic/Art exchange created to let characters who some less-than-discerning people think are unappealing get some action (!) I haven't looked at quite everything yet, but here are some of the pieces that I've particularly liked so far:

ART

La Petite Mort (Fat Friar/Bloody Baron, NC-17) A glorious, totally NOT SAFE for work gift for me! The ghosts look amazing in their translucent period clobber, and their facial expressions just kill me. It's the perfect blend of elegance and earthiness, which is particularly cool given that the poor characters are long dead.

Light show (Alecto Carrow/Aurora Sinistra, R, dub-con) This one's weirdly mesmerising to me - Alecto's menacing bulk, Sinistra's peculiarly exaggerated limbs, their intense, ugly faces. The whole arrangement's just surreal.

Graveyard Fun (Greyback/Lupin, NC-17, dub-con) As the artist says, this one's probably only fun for Fenrir! I love his enormous belly, his claws and his hungry expression. Poor Remus D:

FIC

Birthday Girl (Rosmerta/Various, NC-17) This story skips through the decades of birthday girl Rosmerta's life as various men drop by the Three Broomsticks. It's got some immensely funny and often moving lines, and overall the mood to me is one of lovely, lonely poignance.

By the Numbers (Minerva McGonagall/Rufus Scrimgeour, PG-13) "She'd never been an exuberant girl and she had no intention of changing herself to suit anyone else." And why the hell should she? This is an unsettling examination of the long history of a fucked up but very real relationship. I loved Minerva's independence in this and sincerely wanted to kick some Scrimgeour arse.

A Lesson In Wandlore (Snape/Ollivander, NC-17) Severus gets a new wand and something even better: an education. This pairing weaves really neatly with both canon and characterisation as we know it, and the story and its hopeful ending just plain work.

Underneath The North Star And The Sycamores (Eileen Prince/Tobias Snape, NC-17) I love this look at an endearing, clumsy courtship before everything goes grim. I can really see these two characters producing the Severus Snape we know.

Quite Some Time Since (Augusta Longbottom/Pomona Sprout, PG-13) Neville's formidable grandma goes on the run from Death Eaters and takes refuge at Professor Sprout's place. We learn that they've a long history between them and that Augusta's got a surprising vulnerability under the vulture hat.

All the Ways We See (Severus Snape/Rabastan Lestrange, PG-13) I've never given much thought to Rabastan at all, but his character is fleshed out here in a way that is very intriguing: he's dreamy and a bit dim, but he's got his own sort of perceptiveness. The evocative, sensuous mood is broken a little too abruptly for my comfort, and a slightly more expanded story would have been very welcome.

I think you'll find it's pronounced Lolrusfield.

savageseraph is running an MPREG survey, and since comments there are screened I thought I'd post my list of mpreg recs here. This list is not even close to exhaustive - I've lost a lot of links (Left Hand of Madness, where are you?) and forgotten a bunch of good stories - and the quality ranges anywhere from iffy (yet button-pressing) to AMAZINGLY CAPSWORTHY, but hopefully it may be of some use to fellow mpreg-inclined readers. I haven't made any distinction between insane crack and dead earnestness (quite frankly I can't always tell!) and be warned that my definition of mpreg is fairly broad so there may be some fics included that don't meet your own personal criteria (eg. It's All A Dream! or He Doesn't Give Birth! or He's A She! or It's Not Human! or They're Only Talking About It And Not Doing It! or I Loathe Mpreg But Have Come Up With A Cool Story Anyhow In My Effort To Mock The Genre!)

( MPREG recs for DC, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Lotrips, Master and Commander, Numb3rs, Popslash, Prince of Tennis, Queer as Folk, The Sentinel, Smallville, Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, Viewfinder and Wilby Wonderful )

More suggestions (and fandoms) welcome!